Kit Harington has cut his Game of Thrones hair—Join us in mourning


May we have your attention, please: It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that today, November 23, 2018 — Black Friday — will forever be remembered as the day we learned Game of Thrones star Kit Harington has finally cut his long and luxuriously curly locks.

Nothing will ever be the same again.

News of this most tragic event came to us via Jonerys Targaryens on Twitter, who shared the photo of Harington’s new look. Prepare yourselves, for this is what the vast and cold emptiness of abandonment looks like:

And there you have it. Kit Harington has apparently given up a lucrative and successful career in acting to become a hipster artisanal mushroom farmer.

In all seriousness, Game of Thrones fans knew this day would come. Harington revealed earlier this year that he was keeping his glorious tresses long and ready for action, should he be called in for season 8 reshoots. Then, only a month later, he was filmed wishing the late British playwright Harold Pinter a happy birthday, and he was missing his now-signature Jon Snow beard.

"Beard is gone from freefolk"

The sight of Kit Harington’s face, pink and baby smooth, should have served as a warning that the end was nigh, yet we chose to ignore the signs, hoping reshoots would keep Harington’s curly coiffure long and flowing. We were naive.

So now, with his new spiffy hairdo and pornstar mustache, Harington has finally said goodbye to Jon Snow. We are here to remember the life and times of his hair.

Harington’s wavy locks may have seemed unkempt, but I can assure you there was no other man, woman or child alive in all of Westeros who took better care of their hair than Jon Snow. It was with him, freely flowing in the cold northern air beyond the Wall, as he infiltrated Mance Rayder’s wildling army at the behest of the legendary Qhorin Halfhand.

Later, when the wildlings began to suspect he was going to betray their plans at the first chance he got, it was his seductive and silken strands that helped the wildling Ygritte drop her suspicions toward him, as he made her believe that he literally knew nothing.

As the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, Jon and his lusciously lavish locks traveled to Hardhome to rescue thousands of wildlings who had gathered there after being defeated by Stannis Baratheon’s army.

Jon’s hair flowed freely then, as he came face to face with the Night King and his nefarious White Walker lieutenants. With a mighty swing of his Valyrian steel sword, Longclaw, Jon became the second man in living memory to kill a White Walker (Samwell Tarly was the first, earning the moniker Sam the Slayer. Meera Reed later became the third, as she killed a Walker with an obsidian-tipped spear in the cave of the Three-Eyed Raven). Jon repeated that feat when he went beyond the Wall to capture a wight, and learned that by killing a Walker, one also destroys the wights it raised from the dead.

Jon’s hair remained unbound, unkempt, and unbroken until his brothers in the Night’s Watch — led by the coward Alliser Thorne and the sniveling steward Olly — turned their cloaks and murdered their Lord Commander. As he lay dying in the snow-covered training yard of Castle Black, Jon was not alone, for the strands in his hair cradled his head like a newborn babe, exuding calmness, acceptance, and bravery, as he faced the cold dark nothingness of death.

The traitors would not have the last word, however, as the Lord of Light, working through his servant Melisnadre, saw fit to bring Jon back from the dead. His legend grew.

With his most trusted friends and advisors around him, Jon’s last act as Lord Commander was to execute those dastardly traitors who so savagely killed him in cold blood.

With his death, Jon’s obligations to the Night’s Watch were fulfilled, and he gave command of the ancient order to his close friend Eddison Tollett. He then turned his glorious head of hair toward Winterfell, where Ramsay Bolton held sway. Jon’s half-sister Sansa found her way, at last, to Castle Black, and the welcoming embrace of her bastard brother Jon.

As she fell into his arms, Sansa buried her face into his hair and took a deep breath, breathing in scents few have ever had the pleasure…nay, the honor…to inhale.

Emboldened by the return of Sansa Stark to the North, and having found the death loophole in his vows to the Night’s Watch, Jon pulled his hair back into a manbun, knowing that the Lords of the North would respect his totally cool and trendsetting choice of hairstyle. The bun intimidated his enemies, with Jon never having to say a word. One look at his god-touched mane and Jon’s opponents fled from him in terror…or so we imagined.

Anyway, with his hair in a bun, Jon fought and defeated Ramsay Bolton, beating him to a bloody pulp. The Bolton banners fell to the ground, replaced with the direwolf of the Starks. Jon, completely covered in blood, mud, and gore, calmly told his men to take his slain brother Rickon to the crypts below Winterfell, to lie next to the bones of the man he thought to be his father: Lord Eddard Stark.

Lord Eddard went to his grave keeping a secret that would have repercussions for generations to come: The secret was that Jon’s father was Rhaegar Targaryen — the Prince of Dragonstone and heir to the Iron Throne of Westeros.

For years, lies and rumors washed over Westeros that Prince Rhaegar had kidnapped and raped Ned Stark’s beloved sister Lyanna, causing she and her child to die in childbirth. However, this was not true, as Gilly and Samwell Tarly learned at the Citadel that Rhaegar and Lyanna were in love, and were secretly married.

Jon’s younger brother Bran, who became the Three-Eyed Raven, learned that Jon’s mother was actually Lyanna Stark and his father was Prince Rhaegar Targaryen. For he was that child born to Lyanna, who made Ned promise to keep his identity safe from the wrath of the soon-to-be-crowned King Robert Baratheon. Jon was not a bastard, after all, he was the trueborn heir to the Iron Throne of Westeros, and his true name was Aegon Targaryen.

Rhaegar also had a memorable head of hair, but it was a shadow of what his son’s would be.

Jon will soon learn the secret of his true identity, as he and his new love — Queen Daenerys Targaryen — are traveling to Winterfell, where both Sam and Bran await his coming, ready to reveal to Jon what they learned. With that knowledge, will Jon decide to continue his relationship with his aunt and lover Daenerys? And if he does, can the two rule the Seven Kingdoms together, like their ancestor’s Aegon the Conqueror and his sister-wives Visenya and Rhaenys? We will have to wait until April of 2019 to find out.

"(Spoilers Extended) new art from Fire and Blood from asoiaf"

But for now, we mourn. Game of Thrones and Kit Harington’s hair ushered in the true Golden Age of television. They gave us #HairWatch, and they made us happy. Rest in Piece, you majestic and fabulous follicles, you have earned your place in the pantheon of the greatest hairstyles in the long and storied history of Westeros. We shall never see your like again.

And now, our Hairwatch is ended.

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