When George R.R. Martin smashed a band’s guitar onstage for telling him to write faster

Nearly a decade ago, George R.R. Martin came out onstage and smashed the guitar of a musician who was singing about how he should write faster. Watch!

A Dance with Dragons, the latest book in the Song of Ice and Fire series, came out in 2011, a full decade ago. We’re still waiting for George R.R. Martin to finish The Winds of Winter, the next book in his series, so we can find out what happens to Jon Snow, Tyrion Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen and the rest of the gang.

By this point, it’s become de rigueur among fans to despair over Martin’s slow writing speed, but the complaints started long before now. Earlier this month, YouTuber Aegon Targaryen uploaded a clip that shows just how long it’s been a thing.

Some context: this clip that apparently was recorded in 2013, according to Reddit and the YouTube comments. It shows comedic music duo Paul and Storm performing their song, “Write Like the Wind (George R. R. Martin),” which came out in 2012 and is literally a song imploring Martin to write faster so everyone can enjoy A Song of Ice and Fire. “George R.R. Martin, please write and write faster, you’re not going to get any younger, you know,” it goes. “Winter is coming, I’m growing impatient, and you still got two whole damn books left to go.”

Anyway, in a staged stunt, Martin comes out on stage and smashes the guitar Paul and Storm were using to bits, and then Neil Gaiman comes and reminds the band of his famous phrase: “George R.R. Martin is not your bitch.”

So that’s a pretty cute sketch, but one of the things that’s interesting about it now is how little the underlying concerns have changed. Again, this happened in 2013, just two years after A Dance with Dragons came out. Eight years later and we’re still waiting. Neil Gaiman defended Martin from fans wondering if the author was letting them down by not writing faster in 2009, two years before the latest book came out. Is everyone still on the same page? Is the wait still something to be made light of like this? Somehow I can’t picture Martin repeating this stunt today.

Happily, that’s in part because Martin has holed himself up to finish in Winds, reporting that 2020 was “[t]he best year I’ve had on WOW since I began it.” There’s an argument going around that the book has taken so long that there simply isn’t interest in reading it anymore, and I agree that the hype has let up as the wait has gone on.

BUT, once the book is actually complete and on the way, I suspect it’ll pick up again. Who knows? It may even be worth the wait.

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