Doctor Who S9: New Synopses & Quotes For All 12 Episodes! (SPOILERS)

Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman in Doctor Who Series 9. (Credit: BBC)

You’re going to want to sit down for this one.

Radio Times has just published a full guide to Doctor Who‘s Series 9, with a synopsis and quote for each episode from Steven Moffat. We literally just went from knowing next to nothing about most of these episodes to having an insane amount of spoilers for all 12 of them!

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Let’s not waste time, here are the best bits:

The Magician’s Apprentice

"“What’s a confession dial?”“In your terms, a will. This is the last will and testament of the Time Lord known as the Doctor.”A final message from a dying scientist. A plea from the deadliest corner of time and space. Only one man can answer, but he has gone missing from all of time and space. Where is the Doctor? As the skies of planet Earth stand frozen, Clara Oswald enters into a dangerous alliance.The Doctor is gone from the universe – friends and enemies alike can find him nowhere. When even the Daleks can’t track down their ancient foe, and the Doctor’s old friend and nemesis, Missy, is forced to ask for help, does it mean that the mad man in the box has truly disappeared? What fear, or what terrible shame, could possibly drive the Doctor into the shadows? The answers are more dreadful than Clara’s worst imaginings, and she finds herself embarking on a journey into the Doctor’s worst nightmare …"

This one’s not too mind-blowing, as we actually knew most of this already. The next one, though…

The Witch’s Familiar

"“The Doctor is trapped. He’s a prisoner of the creatures who hate him most in the universe. Between us and him is everything the greatest warrior race in history can throw at us. We, on the other hand, have a pointy stick.”There are places the Doctor should never go. Planets where his life would not be worth an hour’s purchase. When he finds himself in the very worst of these, without his Tardis, or his sonic, and with his best friends murdered in front of his eyes, he has only his wits to keep him alive. And perhaps something else. What is the Doctor’s confession? Why did he really leave Gallifrey all those centuries ago? And is it a secret he is willing to give up?"

Holy $@!+! “His best friends murdered in front of his eyes?” Clara and Missy, maybe? “Why did he really leave Gallifrey all those centuries ago?” This is truly going to be an epic, epic Doctor Who event.

Under the Lake

"“It’s impossible! It’s evil! I hate it! It’s astonishing! I want to KISS IT TO DEATH.”Under a lake, in the dripping gloom of an underwater base, stands a gleaming black space ship, recovered from the lake bed. Nothing is inside – but when the base crew start dying, they make a terrible discovery: ghosts are real! And their friends are refusing to stay dead! The Doctor and Clara arrive to find a base under siege from beyond the grave. But how can the dead be walking? What has brought them back? When the Doctor discovers the truth, it is more terrifying than any simple ghost story."

Interesting. At least now we know where that “kiss it to death” quote from the first trailer comes from. Even more interesting… what does it have to do with the next episode?

Before the Flood

"“Doctor. Hello. Can I just say: huge fan.”In the eerie remains of a town that never was, something is stalking the Doctor and his friends. A desperate battle for survival is underway, but this time our heroes already know which of them is going to lose. With the past and the future hanging in the balance, the Doctor is breaking the rules to win the day. Can anything stop the Fisher King? And more importantly, who composed Beethoven’s 5th?"

There we go: confirmation of the Fisher King. But what ties the two episodes together? Is the Fisher King also responsible for the ghosts in ‘Under the Lake’?

The Girl Who Died

"“There’s going to be a war tomorrow. And here’s some news, this just in – we are going to win the hell out it!”In a backwater of history, in a little Viking village where all the warriors have just been slaughtered, a young girl called Ashildr is about to make a desperate mistake. The Mire are the deadliest mercenaries in the galaxy, famed for being unstoppable and without mercy – and Ashildr has just declared war on them. The Doctor and Clara have twelve hours, to turn a handful of farmers and blacksmiths into a fighting force ready to face down Odin himself. And there’s more – because this is the day when the Doctor remembers where he’s seen his own face before."

And here’s our first official confirmation of Maisie William’s character’s name: Ashildr. “This is the day when the Doctor remembers where he’s seen his own face before.” WHAT?! So exciting! What does that have to do with the Vikings and the Mire?!

The Woman Who Lived

"“Ninja, nun, surgeon, scientist, composer, inventor… it’s a fantastic CV.”England, 1651. The highwayman known as The Nightmare is plaguing the land. But the Nightmare is not all he seems, and his fire-breathing accomplice who lurks in the shadows is clearly more than human… The Doctor, on the trail of an alien artefact, is brought face to the face with the consequences of his own actions. For once he encounters someone who won’t let him turn his back on the things he has done. But will the Nightmare be his friend or foe? It may well take till the end of the universe to be sure…"

I believe this is our first confirmation that the episode takes place in 17th century England. What “alien artefact” is the Doctor seeking? How is Ashildr still alive?!

(Continued on next page)

Next: PAGE TWO: Zygons, Osgood, Rigsy, and a Song Called 'Clara'

More from Winter is Coming

Peter Capaldi as the Twelfth Doctor in the Doctor Who Series 9 premiere ‘The Magician’s Apprentice’/’The Witch’s Familiar’ (Credit: BBC)

The Zygon Invasion

"“Operation Double is a covert operation, outside of normal UNIT strictures, to resettle and rehouse an alien race, in secrecy, on planet Earth.”A long time ago, the Doctor made a deal in the Tower Of London. 20 million Zygons walk among us, in human form, living undetected in peace and harmony. But cracks are showing in this delicate peace. Humans and Zygons are disappearing. In city apartment blocks, lifts are going missing, and far below the streets of Britain, alien pods are growing in secret caverns. Unit’s scientific advisor, Osgood, sends a desperate message to the Doctor – but since Osgood is long dead, how is that even possible?"

More from Winter is Coming

This one’s a little vague; most of these details we’ve been able to suss out from various press interviews. Part two is a little more interesting:

The Zygon Inversion

"“Humans cannot accept us the way we really are. If we cannot hide, we must fight. You’re going to be the first. You’re going to be the first to make the humans see.”The future of planet Earth is sealed in a box in Unit’s back archive, and only the Doctor knows what’s inside. With Unit under Zygon control, and Clara lost, the Doctor and Osgood find themselves fugitives in a London where no one can be trusted – but the wily old Time Lord knows there is one last hope for peace. Because that box in the black archive isn’t any old box. It’s an Osgood Box!"

I assume that’s a typo, and it’s meant to read “Unit’s black archive,” which would further cement this as a sequel to the 50th anniversary special, ‘The Day of the Doctor.’ Oh, and what the hell is an “Osgood Box”?

Sleep No More

"This is footage collected from a space rescue mission. If you value your life, your sanity, and the future of your species, DO NOT WATCH IT."

Yep, that’s all we get on Mark Gatiss’ mysterious new episode. It is, I believe, our first confirmation of the “found footage” angle, though.

Face the Raven

"“There have always been rumours. Stories passed from traveller to traveller, mutterings about hidden streets, secret pockets of alien life right here on Earth.”Have you ever found yourself in a street you’ve never seen before? The next day, could you not find that street again? You weren’t dreaming. Your memory isn’t playing tricks. Like many lost souls throughout the ages, you have stumbled on an extraordinary secret – be grateful you survived it. The Doctor and Clara, with their old friend Rigsy, find themselves in a secret alien world, folded away among the streets of London. Not all of them will get out alive. One of the three intruders must face the raven…"

I love this idea. Unlike Series 8’s ‘Listen,’ which conjectured that everyone on Earth had had a dream about someone grabbing their leg from under the bed (despite the fact that neither I nor many other people I’ve seen discussing the episode online have had such a dream), I’m pretty sure everyone has had that experience of finding a strange street and then not being able to find it again.

Heaven Sent

"“When, at last, you rise to go, there will be another shadow next to yours. And your life will then be over.”In a world unlike any other he has seen, the Doctor faces the greatest challenge of his many lives. And he must face it alone."

Well, now we know why the Doctor is alone for this episode. But how? And what is this mysterious world?

Hell Bent

"“Is it a sad song?”“Nothing’s sad till it’s over. Then everything is.”“What’s it called?”“I think it’s called Clara.”“Tell me about her.”If you took everything from him, and betrayed him, and trapped him, and broke both his hearts… how far might the Doctor go? It is time, at last, for the Doctor’s confession."

Wow. I have no words to express how crazy that is. Is this the same “confession” from the confession dial in the premiere? I’d wager yes, since we haven’t had a clear idea until now of what the series’ overall story arc would be.

Doctor Who Series 9 premieres this Saturday, September 19. For much more information on all twelve episodes (plus the Christmas special), check out our frequently updated guide: Doctor Who Series 9: Everything There is to Know So Far.

What do you think? Is your mind thoroughly and completely blown? Do you have any theories to put forth? Sound off in the comments below!

Next: All 12 Series 9 Episode Titles Announced!